How you might feel

It is important to know that what happened to you was not your fault and you are not to blame no matter how the situation occurred. Rape and sexual abuse are acts of control and/or violence.

You did not want or ask for the incident to happen and therefore it was non-consensual. The law does not require there to be any physical resistance in order to prove it was non-consensual.  

You may have been threatened physically or emotionally, you may have been asleep or unconscious, or your body may have just frozen rendering you helpless to do anything about what was happening to you. You may have known and trusted the person that did this to you so you were lulled into a sense of security until you realised what was happening. 

Even if you were flirting/kissing/petting and more with the person it does not give them the right to carry on if you say no. NO MEANS NO. 

Many people who have experienced sexual violence blame themselves and look back at the incident to find ways they could have escaped the situation and question why they reacted the way they did at the time. It is easy to look back and think logically now you are out of the situation but at the time you were most likely crippled by your emotions. It is impossible to predict what might happen to us and there was no way you could have foreseen what happened to you.  

Every situation is unique and although your feelings are individual to you, they are experienced by many people who have suffered sexual violence.

People can experience a number of different feelings. These could include:

A sense of being numb

• Anger
• Confusion
• Self blame/guilt
• Feeling strangely calm
• Fear/anxiety
• Loss of control
• Disbelief

These are just a few examples of what may be experienced. Feelings are likely to change as time passes, and what happened may affect a person for the rest of their life. It is never too late to get help for what you have been through. It may feel overwhelming and confusing about what to do next.

What to do & What your Options are 

If you have recently been assaulted consider reporting it to the police by calling them directly.

If you live in Merseyside you have the option to go to your local Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SAFEPlace Merseyside) and one will be opening in Cheshire in 2010.

To find out more information and if the area you live in has a SARC use this link: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/reportingrape/referralcentres.html

At the SARC they will be able to advise you on pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections as well as offering to forensically examining you to preserve evidence even if you are undecided about reporting to the police.

RASASC works in partnership with SAFEPlace Merseyside to deliver outreach Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA) support and counselling. You can get emotional support, independent advice and access counselling services through Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVAs) whether you decide to report the incident or not. The ISVA can also support you to report the incident and go through the criminal justice system (see services for a list of what RASASC can provide). 

You can contact RASASC (in office hours) to get more information and advice on any of the issues talked about in this section.

Historical abuse and reporting

If the incident/s occurred some time ago AND/OR if you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse 

Reporting the incident/s

You may want to report the incident/s to the police and the following points may help when thinking about what to do:

 It is entirely your decision if you want to report what happened to you, the police are there to listen to you and act on what you tell them.

It is the police’s job to protect the public. 

v     The police investigate what you tell them and then it is the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) www.cps.gov.uk that decides whether to take the case any further. Even if there is little evidence it may be taken to court if there is a concern for public safety. 

v     It may be your account that helps stop a perpetrator repeating their actions - if they have done it once they are likely to do it again.

 Your story could be a missing piece in a much larger picture that helps catch the perpetrator, even if you do not know who they were. 

v     Sometimes when one person comes forward about an incident it encourages more people to come forward and say that the same thing happened to them. This is often the case when a person has been abused as a child and was not aware that their siblings were also abused by the same person until it is revealed in later life. 

v     Some people find it helps their healing process 

v     The Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA) can support you all the way through the criminal justice system (see services). 

v     There are special measures in place to help victims of sexual violence in the criminal justice system feel as safe and comfortable as possible.  

If you decide that reporting the incident is not an option for you or if you have already been through that process or the perpetrator has died you may want to access counselling. There are many counselling services available (see the links page) or contact RASASC to get information on where to access counselling local to you. RASASC provides a free counselling service (see services).

You can contact RASASC (in office hours) to get more information and advice on any of the issues talked about in this section. 

Some Useful Contacts

National Association for People Abused in Childhood (helpline weekdays and evenings) 0800 085 3330 www.napac.org.uk

Victim Support (help and advice if you have been a victim of a crime. They can also help you apply for compensation) 0845 30 30 900 www.victisupport.org.uk

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON OTHER SUPPORT SERVICES AVAILABLE PLEASE CLICK ON LINKS